a charitable act

One summer many years ago, I was feeling a little pinched for cash, so I signed up to deliver phone books. By this innocent act I learned what a truly selfless act was. The day was stifling. The phone books were heavy. No maps were provided, and the one I had on hand was hopelessly obsolete, I'd guess a good half of the addresses weren't on it at all. We were required to not talk to the householders, just drop off the books and go. And we were paid considerably less than minimum wage. So I achieved none of the satisfactions one might reasonably expect to attain on doing any kind of work.
- Exertion was unbearable in the hot, humid, still air, so there was no satisfaction from the physical exercise.
- Contact with other people was forbidden, so there was no chance for the satisfaction of being thanked, or even of achieving a simple "Hello".
- As I never found something like half the addresses I was to deliver to, the satisfaction of having completed a job was absent.
- The act was done on behalf of a major corporation, so there was no satisfaction in working for someone who needed the charity.
- The pay was incredibly low, so there was no satisfaction in collecting it.

Now, I authorize Oxfam to charge a small amount to my credit card every month, first to help with tsunami victims, eventually to help with some other disaster in the world. It requires no exertion on my part, except to email them to say yes, please continue. They thank me every month. They may even send a tax statement! As I need more pumping up in my self-esteem during the year, I write another little check to one or two other organizations. They get my money, and in return I have the satisfaction, with greater or less failure in humility, of obeying my religion's recommendations on almsgiving and the hope of a seat in the nosebleed section of heaven some day.

Which is the greater act of charity? The first, an exercise in futility on behalf of a corporation that neither needed nor appreciated my labor, to accommodate people who took that labor for granted, done neither for a greater good nor, as it turned out, for my own? The second, help given to the truly needy, and the warm fuzzies for the giver? For the second, I get paid in psychological and emotional coin. That's the bottom line for me: I get paid. If a miracle occurs and I get paid enough wages to donate enough money in charity every year, even the government will reward me, with a tax break.

I work for my church now; that is, I labor in return for a paycheck. My take-home pay is less this year than it was last year: my raise, the same percentage increase that everyone at work got, was not enough to cover the increase in medical insurance. The raise was figured as a percentage; the medical insurance increase was a flat amount, thereby hammering the more poorly paid. "To those who have nothing, even that little shall be taken away." Is my church striving to make my work a true act of charity? Will I work for inadequate pay for an organization that does not value my contribution? It's leaning in that direction. Will I be more holy? I will be colder in the winter, as I set my thermostat lower. If you see smoke coming out of my (nonfunctional) fireplace, you will know I'm burning my living room floor to stay warm. (Just call me Cratchit.) Not this winter, fortunately. But -- stay tuned!